I missed this place

The last year has been the worst of my life, but also perhaps the best. I definitely learnt more about myself than you can imagine and solved quite a few problems.

(TL;DR warning!)

I've had an anxiety problem most of my life, probably a cross of social and general anxiety disorder. I got into drugs last summer, and found benzodiazepines really helpful with my problems. Benzos basically make you feel drunk, are addictive and erase your memory, so I don't remember much since August '06 - March '08.

During this time I did too many drugs to name; ketamine being my favourite (of which I imported quite a bit).

At some point I realised I didn't remember a damn thing from school so started withdrawal. [URL="http://www.benzo.org.uk/FAQ*.*.htm#8"]Read about the hellishness of benzo withdrawal online[/URL] if you're interested, but as an example an ex-friend of mine had * seizures, bit off part of his tongue and broke his ribs on withdrawals.

Mine lasted quite a few months and my parents found out in the end. Again I don't remember much, but I started seeing a psychiatrist and got prescribed a few meds -- currently on escitalopram which is working nicely for the anxiety I have to say.

I failed school and am currently re-taking my A-levels at college. The meds didn't work for a while so I still self-medicated, but now I'm clean.

So today my remaining stash of drugs got stolen and I'm undecided whether to leave it all forever or use occasionally at parties. I don't know, but the main problem is solved anyhow.

The boredom kicked in and I realised I have no real interests any more except chemical happiness. I used to enjoy programming/hacking quite a bit, so here I am! I'm not so anti-world these days, so it will probably be a lot more productive than the shenanigans I used to get up to... Admittedly I don't remember all that much about the scene, but I think I'll pick it up again.

One more thing: I've found that if you keep something a secret, no matter what you think, it usually isn't a good thing. My real name is Daniel, I live in England and if you want to meet me, I'll probably say yes.

I will probably change my username on here, and my new MSN is dan20*4 (at) hotmail.co.uk.

So, sup guys.

Edit: what is this "user notifications" crap? If I wanted a Facebook, I'd log into Facebook!

Also, I'm looking to perhaps start up my website again when I get paid in a few weeks.

It's been a [B][U]long[/U][/B] time dude, welcome back. :)

First off, ditch the chems. If you're gonna do something, don't do anything that doesn't grow naturally. Don't even do those wierd drugs in parties.

Anyways, I guess you wanna know what's new with the forums. The spam problem is pretty much gone. We got a new moderator, gordo. I started becoming heavily involved in PHP. If anything, you could say PHP is my drug of choice. :p The tutorials in the Programming section of the forum will prove that. As for 'user notifications', well, that's what you get when you upgrade to vBulletin *.7.x

If you are trying to get back into the scene, start with a little skiddie stuff first. Trying to go from almost-nothing back into hardcore stuff willl be counterproductive. Personally, I have deviated away from the scene to pursue programming. I plan on going back into some web hacking soon, because I have a good ******y of PHP. But I'll have to learn a good deal of C++ before I get into the scene for real.

So yeah, welcome back, and I hope you stick around :D

[QUOTE=Moonbat;28852]
First off, ditch the chems. If you're gonna do something, don't do anything that doesn't grow naturally. Don't even do those wierd drugs in parties.[/QUOTE]

When it comes down to it, a chemical compound with pharmacological properties is the same thing whether it's derived from plant material or synthesised. A lot of mushrooms grow naturally; some make you trip and others destroy your liver.

I appreciate what you're saying though -- I need to lay off the chems. I'll try ;).

[QUOTE]I started becoming heavily involved in PHP. If anything, you could say PHP is my drug of choice. :p[/QUOTE]

Cool, PHP is an awesome language I have to say. We should work together again when I restart the site.

[QUOTE]So yeah, welcome back, and I hope you stick around :D[/QUOTE]

I think I will -- the last year has taught me that I like pissing around on the internet with like-minded people a lot more than trying to be someone I'm not.

Nice to know the bat has stuck around. Who else is still here that I'd know of?

Also, why is a guy called 'maniac' a mod? He has one post!

I think maniac is one of the staff in the actual company running this site. I PM'ed him a long time ago, but I don't have the conversation anymore.

As for anyone you remember, I think gordo and I are the only ones. JayT hasn't come on since May. SyntaX hasn't come on since July. DANIEL2488 has posted a few times in September, but he hasn't been on since September *7. So yeah, it's just me, gordo, and the one-post users that come and go.

This placed missed you Mike*5*.And so did I. Your posts are one of main reasons I started hanging around here.